Authenticity vs. Oversharing: How to Use Social Media with Intention
I am a chronic over-sharer. In fact, this is the principle I’ve built my entire career upon as a writer, poet, and essayist—nothing is too much when it comes to sharing your heart.
And honestly, I‘ve learned this about myself first-hand through years of publishing my words on online verticals and especially in building my business—a service-based company with a foundation built entirely through personal connections and relationships.
I’ll be the first to advocate for the importance of vulnerability, authenticity, and ‘being real’ on social media.
But where does one draw the line between genuineness and ‘too much’? How can you balance the importance of sharing the behind-the-scenes vs. your feeds feeling like a personal diary?
And how does one shift the lens from inward reflection to outward connection?
These are great questions and ones I’ve wrestled with myself (and still do). I’ll start by saying this: while some might consider me an expert as I’ve curated “influencer” following status and provide social media services for clients, I’m honestly still figuring it all out. I don’t claim to have all the answers. And without a doubt, I’m going to make mistakes (as we all are) along the journey.
However, I’m really passionate about ethical social media practices, responsible sharing, and learning the balance between authenticity and an outward lens in order to create content that is truly meaningful.
Here are a few steps to help you assess and potentially shift your current habits:
1. Take Inventory of Your Accounts, Posts & Purpose
The first step to shifting your social media is to take inventory of where you are, what you share, and the reasons why. Whether your accounts are personal or business focused, look at the last five posts and ask yourself: What was my intent?
If you’re not sure or don’t have a definitive answer besides, “I just wanted to put this out there” or “I liked this picture,” then consider the engagement. Are people connecting in meaningful ways or are the posts solely focused on praise or recognition?
Taking inventory can be challenging because you’re essentially calling yourself out on current practices. My challenge to you is to be honest and start to think about the purpose your accounts can serve (especially if they are for a business!). If you don’t have a concrete purpose right now, you can consider the following ideas: solving a problem, reaching your audience, offering help/advice, or providing content that encourages.
2. Create a Plan for Posting
Social media can be an incredibly valuable tool for online engagement, business-building, or personal growth—if you use it correctly and purposefully.
One way to do this is to create a plan for posting. This doesn’t have to be as complicated as a full monthly grid with images and scheduled times (although it can be if that works for you!). Your ‘plan’ can be as simple as thinking about your captions before posting to ensure that they’re aligned with your goals, brand, and message.
3. Give Yourself Space From the Emotion(s) Before Sharing
Oftentimes we share content in the heat of the moment or as something is happening. This can be great—and should be done sometimes—but other times, if we aren’t careful, our message can be lost in the desire to be ‘raw’ or ‘timely.’
Take an important political event, for example. In the heat of the moment you may feel a certain way, but upon researching and learning more, your perspective may shift. And if you’ve adamantly shared a one-sided perspective prior, you now have the risk of looking hypocritical online rather than taking the time and space to reflect before posting.
4. Focus Less On Impressing
Undoubtedly, the most poignant social media posts are ones that ‘keep it real’ rather than focus on having the ‘best’ or the ‘prettiest’ feeds. Now, don’t get me wrong—social media is based on imagery (and I’m not shaming beautiful feeds!) but there’s a difference between focusing on the appearances over the content vs. giving the reality to your audience.
Social media can be a highlight reel. This is great, but there’s an element of trust you build with your audience when you also share the truth with them. Yes, you’re a successful business owner, but do you have struggles sometimes? Sure, you launched an incredible course, but was it a difficult journey? And of course, you have a beautiful family posing for those holiday pictures… but do your kids sometimes drive you crazy?
Sharing the truth behind the ‘highlight reel’ provides normalcy and a glimpse of the ‘real’ you. It’s definitely something valuable (within reason, of course) and if this is something you’ve been neglecting thus far, it may be an important and helpful change.
5. Consider How You Relate to Current People & Times
As you navigate the balance between authenticity and oversharing, something to keep in mind is how you connect to other people and the current times. What I mean by this is…consider your audience and consider the world around you. (Click to Tweet)
Are you sharing pictures of your dog during times of political tension? Are you considering conflict, fear, war, or pain that others may be experiencing and incorporating those emotions into the content you share? Are you considerate of your audience and their biases, perspectives, or experiences? Do you check your privilege to create content that is culturally appropriate and/or responsive to current times?
Your accounts are for you—yes. But everything we put in the media as well as on social media is a reflection of who we are/what our business is and what we stand for.
While you don’t need to feel the responsibility of addressing every issue out there, it’s important to find a balance between self-focus and outward-focus in the content you create and share.
Ready to Make Changes? Here are your action steps:
Take inventory of your last five posts and consider the purpose.
Follow accounts that are meaningful and help connect you to different ideas, people, and perspectives. Unfollow accounts that don’t fit your vision or values.
Map out a ‘plan’ of some sort (specific or big-picture ideas) that define your message and purpose of your account(s)
Think about captions before posting.
Take time and distance from your emotions before feeling compelled to share.
Be cognizant of others—Ask: How can my content serve others, not just me?
Need other ideas or tips? I’m happy to help.
Marisa Donnelly is the Founder & CEO of Be A Light Collective, a creative marketplace, online community, and writing/editing services company with a mission of reshaping what traditional education looks like through a relationship-based learning lens.
To learn more about authenticity, you can follow Marisa’s blog (where she writes about it often!) or subscribe to The VulnerABILITY Podcast, a series dedicated to authentic conversations about what matters and how we can actionably move towards better versions of ourselves.
Connect with the author Marisa Donnelly: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
